This is the one and only time you'll see me wearing glasses that don't have prescription lenses a) my pathetic little nose can't take vanity glasses slipping on and off and b) I'm a myopic beast. I spoke of Fashion X-Men powers a while back and I can't believe I omitted my most potent power of all. The power to have the blurriest vision within the 20th percentile of the population. Cyclops can zap things into oblivion. Everything I see blurs into oblivion. Hah, I win!
Anyway, the point is... I'm seriously myopic aka short-sighted... half way to becoming blind with a prescription so high that the NHS likes to categorise me as 'complex'. Well, I knew that anyway but thanks for making it official.
I've worn gas permeable contacts for as long as I can remember and glasses to me have always been an afterthought after a fairly high contact lens bill seeing as I don't really have to take too much downtime from my RGPs like the soft contact lens peeps have to. I may have mentioned that I mysteriously lost my crap glasses a while back when flying to New York (sorry JFK airport for having to take my 50 calls regarding the loss). Then in a press day haze, I was won over by Prism, who have had so much positive press, my brain was busted into submission and finally, I kidded myself into thinking I could perhaps have a bit more downtime and that maybe pushing glasses up my nose won't be half as annoying with a pair of New York-style frames in cream tortoise shell. In true fashion fooligan style, I also thought if Erika Kurihara, Caroline Issa and Kinga Burza could look great in them (very clever model picks there...), perhaps I might have a chance too. Then I remembered Erika, Caroline and Kinga are all stupidly stunning creatures...
Still, with much excitement, I ordered. They came. I rushed down to my opticians to have them tell me that once again, my myopia has increased (grrr...) and then with one look at my Prism frames, they also said that with such a high degree of myopia, the curvature on the lens would be far too high, rendering me with glasses that would make me feel like I'm looking out of a goldfish bowl. In effect, I'm restricted to only being able to wear teensy tiny frames which reduces the curvature. Doh! I've never felt more like a fashion-fazed/crazed idiot than when I spluttered "But...but... I really like them!" and then the opticians dude say "Well... you're limited by the frames you can choose with your condition... you should have thought about that before choosing such 'fashionable' frames!" Double doh!
This of course isn't meant to be a cautionary tale. Because any other person with the same affliction would have known about the whole curvature/high myopia thing. This is an opportunity to point and laugh at the sort of fashion cliches that one might condense into a token bimbo character on a slapstick comedy sitcom. I reluctantly have to return these Prism babies, acrylic glass case and all... and instead, I've once again just left the glasses situation in the opticians hand instructing them to choose whatever they think is best because I just don't give a crap anymore.
... and no, I'm not tempted to keep them as 'vanity' glasses to use an 'accessory'... pushing them up the no-nose is annoying enough with downtime glasses...
